“I want to get them done.” Annie confessed. “I mean, I really want to get them done. I’m obsessed with the idea.”
“Ok.” I replied simply. “Do you know why?”
“Well, I don’t look the same as I did before nursing. There’s nothing there anymore. I know I’d feel better about my body if they were bigger.”
Part of that seemed reasonable to me. I put in four solid years of breastfeeding. I knew what she meant. Exactly.
Within forty-eight hours, another friend asked me the same question via Facebook. “Is it okay to get a boob job? Is there a Gospel answer to this question?”
Seriously? Is there some clearance sale on breast augmentations in Dallas? (Chances are no, but according to this article they are a top graduation gift this month all over Texas!)
Is confidence found in a size C, D, or DD? That’s what I want to know.
You see, I was bra shopping a few weeks ago and I spotted a special tag attached to one style. It caught my attention because it read: “Ego boost.” These two words reinforced something I find quite ironic in our era. Apparently, one’s “ego” is located inside her brassiere.
Why isn’t the women’s movement outraged by this? Women can be educated, successful at work, thriving in roles as mothers or wives. But, a woman’s identity, value, worth and “ego” are somehow connected to the size of her ta-tas?
The saddest thing is I’m afraid we are too busy believing it to effectively argue against it. At some level, we think it’s true. We are convinced our value is rooted in our physical appearance.
This, my friend, is why I’d argue against you getting a boob job.
Bigger Won’t Make Life Better
Now, don’t misunderstand me. This is an area of personal conviction.
If you can answer the question, “Do I know this won’t make me any happier?” with a resounding and honest “Yes.” Then, if you’ve got the money, the time, and no red lights from the Holy Spirit. Go for it.
And, if you’ve already had it done.
Please don’t feel condemned. No one (while wearing push-up bras, paying $300 at a hair appointment, or crash dieting) is judging you here!
But, if you are still considering it, I’d beg you for a solid answer as to why or how this could be the best use of your resources. I fear–ok, I know–it won’t bring you any added peace, joy or happiness, in the long run. (Gravity will get them eventually too. Or, in 12-14 years you’ll have to have them replaced. And, oh, yeah, life is but a vapor, remember?) Thus, I question the value of the investment.
My biggest concern, though is your heart.
What lies are you believing? The ones that tell you you would have a better life if your bosom were just a little fuller?
Are they the same lies that say life would be perfect if you weighed less, had shinier hair or if your thighs didn’t touch?
I think it would be really fun to have every naturally well-endowed woman to share with us how perfectly wonderful and struggle free her life is. Do you think the comments section would be filled with testimonies of big-busted women gushing that life is perfect when your (bra) cup runneth over?
I hate to be cynical…but, somehow, I doubt it. (Please feel free to prove me wrong.)
My friend, I don’t expect you to look in the mirror and “love your selfie.“ I don’t think it’s realistic for me to tell you to just “learn to love” your new size “A’s” when the pre-baby you was a solid “D.”
But, I do want you to know that your value isn’t located between your neck and your navel. I do want you to believe, truly believe, that confidence isn’t found in your cup size.
Root your value someplace lasting. You know where I’d recommend, in Jesus Christ. If you crave unconditional love and acceptance and indescribable value no matter what your size, he has it waiting for you.
(I share this story in my book Compared to Who? check it out here!)
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Heather, thank you for sharing this most important truth on value! I’m a petite woman in my late 30’s and have always had a small bust, can barely fill an A-cup! Oh, how I’ve longed to have bigger breasts but nothing too large for my frame. It’s difficult to find a bra that fits and looks natural under a t-shirt without it looking obviously padded or unnatural. Besides being flat chested, I also have a flat butt which doesn’t help in the pants department. Turn me sideways and I’m a pole! I’ve been skinny all of my life and thought when I reached puberty I’d get some curves but when that didn’t happen I felt I wasn’t womanly enough. And so the self hatred for my body began along with the envy and jealousy of what others had that I didn’t. I felt threatened and inferior when I saw a more attractive curvy woman…I still do at times.
Recently, my family and I were at the Minnesota State Fair, and what should’ve been an enjoyable time ended up being a discouraging one as I found myself comparing what I looked like to the other women who were there. ‘Oh I wish I had her butt!’ ‘Oh I wish I had her boobs!’ ‘Oh I wish I was taller, blonde, and blue eyed!!’ ‘Oh how I wish I was more beautiful!!!!’ Then I had to ask myself…for what and for who? Who is it that I want to impress? What would having these things give me? Purpose? Security? Acceptance? Love? Confidence? None of these things are lasting outside of Christ. This really isn’t about wanting a better body. It’s more than that…it’s a heart issue. Only in Him is where my true beauty lies along with being accepted, secure, loved by the King of Kings and Lord of Lords! What could be better?!? Sadly, I haven’t always thought His love was enough and sometimes doubted His unconditional love for me. My pride and flesh wants to be accepted and loved by the world. It wants to raise its ugly head and yell ‘Look at me everybody! I’m the best!’ Yep, that’s idol worship…idolizing myself. Isn’t that what Satan wanted? To be bigger, better, higher than God? God would not have that. No way indeed! And I should not seek the acceptance or friendship of the world nor to exalt myself! We are called to not conform to the ways of this world but be transformed by the renewing of our minds through the Word of God…what He says about us. The enemy wants our focus to be on ourselves and not on Christ because he knows that when we know the truth (Jesus), the truth will set us free. Free from the sin of pride, envy, jealousy, self hatred, etc. It is for freedom that Christ has set us free! The Lord is helping me in this area of body image idolatry as well as to rest in His love and peace for me. I’m understanding more what true beauty is…the kind that God delights in and that is of a quiet and gentle spirit. Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised!
Julie, thank you for sharing all of that. I love the beautiful way God reveals truth to us! We’re all fighting that same lie . . .that more beauty would fulfill us. It’s a false savior for sure. 🙂 Have you read my book? Sounds like you and I have been on similar journeys. Hugs!! Thanks again for sharing your story authentically.
I am well endowed (dd cup) and I have spent my whole life wishing I was smaller. I just don’t understand why women want bigger boobs. I guess we just are never happy with our bodies.
I think it’s that it’s always “greener” on the other side of the fence. . . Alas, I beleive God can help us find contentment in what we’ve been given. But, our culture sure does want to make sure we stay discontent so we buy more, right?
I am well-endowed myself and I assure you its not rainbows and butterflies. Its something I struggle with on a daily basis. Im by no means confident in any area of my physical appearance but this is something that’s difficult to hide. I do my best to cover up with appropriate shirts and sweaters but they stand out like a sore thumb regardless. I was abused by my father and older brother from 2 to 13 and have spent my lifetime being sexualized for my curvy body. Im currently pregnant, in my 28th week, and its been such a struggle having them grow through this process. I am in a dd and wish so badly that they could be smaller.
Thank you so much for sharing this Krystal. So many women need to know the other side. I’m sorry for the hurts you’ve experienced. It’s hard to live in such a hyper-sexualized culture. Praying that you have a healthy pregnancy and that God will continue to show you how much he loves you and cares about you. Thanks for chiming in.
Recently, a good friend of mine and my husband revealed to us that she was getting implants. Ever since then, my husband has been pressuring me to get an enhancement. I am barely an A, and I have nursed two babies. I have always thought I looked fine, but now I feel very offended and insecure about my body. I have always known I was small and would like to have been blessed with bigger ones, but never enough to physically change myself. I told him no…just because I don’t want to do it. But I am left feeling pretty crummy about the whole thing, and I can’t seem to shake it.
I’m so sorry. I can totally understand how this would feel defeating! My best advice is that you try to have an honest conversation with your husband about how you feel. Tell him (when you feel you can do it calmly) how it hurt you and made you feel unaccepted by him. Sometimes I think men say things like this without thinking of the implications. The hard thing will be, of course, if he is truly serious. In that case, I’d encourage you to remind him that it’s not a larger chest size that will make you have a better marriage – it’s a greater commitment to forgiving and attempting to unconditionally love each other. The wife who feels seen and accepted is always a better lover than the one who is trying to have all the parts just perfect! Parts shift and change as we age…and from what I understand —impacts are a pain and it’s not just one surgery, you have to go back and get them fixed regularly. My prayer for you is that you’ll be able to have an honest convo and then, be able to forgive your husband for these comments and to some extent wipe them from your brain. Other people —including husbands—will always say words that can hurt us in this way and will make us feel like we should be better in some way…but we can’t let these words rule us. When it comes down to it, what other ppl think of us cannot be most important or we’ll go crazy trying to keep everyone happy. A lot of ppl go crazy trying to keep themselves happy too..getting their body to meet their own standards. But God asks something different of us, he asks us to submit our will and focus on what he wants for us. I don’t think implants are inherently sinful— but we can pursue these changes with an idolatrous heart. Sounds to me like you want no part of it…so settle it in your mind with your man and I’ll pray for an honest, uplifting and affirming conversation for you!! ❤️
Have you ever seen a deflated balloon? Yeah, that is what my boobs look like after pumping for 2 kids. I used to be a D cup before I got pregnant and then after losing the baby weight I went down to a barely B. It shames me a bit to say it, but my boobs used to be one of my pride and joys. I know that it was for the wrong reasons, but I still find myself wanting to get a boob job and falling into the (most likely) lie that it will give me confidence and make me happier. I tell myself that there are lots of beautiful women out there with small chests and it’s silly to think that anyone judges me for mine……now if I can only make myself believe that!!
I do have a boob job. I got it when I was 23. I used to maybe be a cup size B but mostly an A. I was so self concise of this. I wore baggy clothes and my back and shoulders hurt all the time too because I slouched so much trying to hide my small bust. I was in a healthy relationship at the time that I got them done. I am married to him now. I love them, every ounce. I got a full C small D cup size. When I got pregnant they got much larger to a size DD and I loved them even more. Now after successfully nursing 4 healthy babies for 2 years each and losing all my baby weight I am ready to get these ones replaced and get a lift. I am so excited and have been saving up for this for 10 years, since I had my first ones put in. I don’t feel as if I don’t have the holy ghost with me or the love of our father in heaven and Jesus Christ. I am still the same old me just with more self confidence. Some may not need something this drastic for a confidence booster but after the childhood I had, molestation, rape, abuse verbally and physically, this was something that I was able to choose for myself. Something that I wanted. My husband also doesn’t mind them one bit. But to each their own and we should not judge. My friends that I have now have no clue that mine are not real, the move and look real. I am also a marathon runner so they don’t hinder my abilities one bit. I would say keep them one the realistic side of sizes and no one will know the difference.
Hi Mom of Four! Thanks so much for sharing your experience. I hope you actually got to read the post to see that there’s no implied or stated condemnation for those who have had boob jobs, at all!! Just a call for us women to realize that our value is more than our cup size or our appearance and that Jesus loves us… no surgery necessary! 🙂
I second Allison’s comments. After years of wearing two sports bras and baggy shirts, dealing with migraines and back issues, I finally made the decision to have a breast reduction. The smaller cup size increased my confidence more than ever thought possible!
Thanks for sharing that Shanna… Helping debunk the myth that bigger is better…
I’ve always been “well-endowed” and I can promise you that it comes with a large host of issues! Shirts don’t fit right, my back and shoulders ache, the constant fear of showing an inappropriate amount of cleavage in an innocent shirt, they’re always in the way, etc. As a young woman I was convinced men either avoided me because of my chest or they were only friends with me so they could get a friendly hug… As a woman whose chest enters the room 3 days before the rest of her, I can promise they’re not all they’re cracked up to be!
Thanks for your honesty, Allison! Women need to hear the other side. We always think the grass is greener… God promises us otherwise! Easy to dislike our own problems and assume that other’s have it easier. But, it’s not true! Thanks! 🙂